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Embrace the Chaos

I'll be the first to say I radiate chaos and I LOVE IT. Chaos is often looked at as a very negative thing. Personally, I don't view it as negative, I view it as the most positive thing that can happen in someone's life. I am 100% proud to say I radiate chaos in many different ways. We can either grow through the chaos, or let it control us. I don't know about you, but I'm not going to be controlled by anything. The mindset behind this comes from the understanding that everything has to fall apart in order to have the right pieces come together. Pretty hard to watch your life "fall apart," but remain positive, because you know it has to just so you can level up, right? Trust me, I get it. Through just the past 5 years, I have watched my life drastically change each year. It would be what felt like completely shattering, and then building back up a level higher.

Let's break it down... I graduated high school in May 2017. Was married to OG husband in July 2017, and moved across the country. My intentions at this point in my life were to join the Army. Well, in October 2017, I was in a car accident that left me with a broken arm and uncertainty of how long it would take to be back to new. By January of 2018, I started my journey to get my Bachelors in Criminal Justice. I always knew I wanted to be in law enforcement, and I figured I'll just get my degree and join as an officer. This was 100% the life plan for YEARS. That marriage ended the summer of 2018, and quickly after I got pregnant. My son was born in July 2019.. By November 2019, I met my second husband and we were married within 8 months. At this time, I finally got a job in corrections and was still going to school full time. By August 2020, we were married and I just got my dream job that I had full intentions of retiring from. Nah.. universe had different plans for me, and in January 2021 i was hit with some medical issues that gave me a huge life crisis. This started the journey of Fiercely Dynamic in March of 2021, which developed into the storefront in the Fall of 2021. In May of 2022 I left my husband... insanely drastic changes within a short period of time right?

I used to get hate on by a woman who told me my life "changes too much". To that I say: it's supposed to, and I'm sorry yours hasn't. Change is good, it's not easy. It's completely chaotic at times, but embrace it. Throughout all those changes, I have been able to find my true self. I have been able to learn so many life lessons, and most importantly, learn to trust the universe. Every change came with a "fall" to where I felt like I completely lost myself, and I would never recover. And I DID/ AM. We get so caught up in the fall, we almost forget that means we are about to come out on top and level up to our highest potential next. Everything has to fall apart, you have to feel your lowest of the lows, before you can truly appreciate the highs in life.

This past summer, right after I left my husband, I was just expecting everything would be perfect, and that's absolutely not what happened. I was weak within my business. I didn't have faith in myself. I had no true confidence, and most importantly, I wasn't happy. I disconnected from my business, because I was beating myself up over "not being where I want to be". I'll be the first to say that's the most bullshit thing anyone can say to themselves. There is the right time for everything, so why not embrace the growing stages in life. All chaos is growing stages. The summer taught me how to find true confidence within myself, happiness and so so sooo many life lessons.

As my business was teaching me the true strength I had, it reached a low that I didn't know how I would push through it. Life in general felt like it reached a whole new low. The whole time I kept faith, and just pushed through. I have many people out there praying for my failure, and I used that as my motive to NOT let them win. Looking back now, it was the best thing that could have ever happened. Without experiencing that low as hard as I did, I wouldn't have the faith in myself that I do now. I have admitted before that I struggle with a very self-destructive personality, which left a lot of these changes in my life to be a very self-destructive phase filled with a lot of self medicating. Until this past summer, as I did self-medicate a little, I am proud to say I felt more control over the mania and used it to be able to freely discover myself. You never know why that chaos is happening, but just know it's happening for a reason, because you will come out on top.

Life spirals just to teach you what you have to learn, so you can level up to your highest potential, and there is nothing more beautiful than self-growth. I occasionally will go back through old memories on my phone, and the way I talked to myself and others was completely wrong. Your life isn't falling apart, you didn't hit rock bottom.. the universe is teaching you life lessons and you are growing. Embrace it, every high and every low life has to throw at you.

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