As much as I hope and pray this isn't a relatable topic. Unfortunately, it is so common. Doesn't matter if it is sexual, physical, or emotional abuse it's so common. There are so many different forms of incidents where others try to control someone else. That's strictly what is it they want to control and will do whatever it takes to gain that control. Don't give it to them. They may have been able to control you within that moment but you can't let them have the power over you forever.
A little story time... When I was 13 I met this guy online who I "loved". I was 13 I didn't know what love was. He convinced me to go hang out with him by telling me he wouldn't talk to me ever again if I didn't. So I did .. This led to him threatening and trying to bury me alive but decided not to and would "wait till after". I had a terrible gut feeling that something awful was going to happen. That night he took advantage of me. That wasn't even the worst part he had me so manipulated that I lied for him and told the cops I consented. Went to school a few days after and crazy rumors were spreading. I walked around covered in hickeys and bruises just pretending I was fine. The rumors, jokes, comments made me feel even more like it was my fault. I was sent to a mental hospital because no one could "deal" with me. The facility decided to send me away for 6 months for "therapy". Where the "therapy" consisted of getting told it was my fault every day and ill never be able to go back home because I was reckless.
For years and years, I let that situation define me. I knew I was vulnerable which led to so many other similar situations that occurred. They want the control, Don't give it to them. It's unbelievably hard to not give them the power. But It's also the most rewarding thing to feel free from an abuser. Just know it is 100% not your fault at all. IT'S A THEM ISSUE.. NOT A YOU ISSUE. You don't deserve to feel unworthy because someone tried to make you feel less. If anything, they should feel embarrassed for the actions and trauma they have caused. The best way to do that is not to let them win control forever. Fighting through it, not every day will be easy. Years down the road it'll randomly come up and try to break you. Build that strong foundation and know YOU ARE NOT WEAK, YOU ARE WORTHY and most importantly YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Comments