When I say this, I mean it in the most blunt and realist way possible. It doesn’t matter what you do in life or who you are, OTHERS WILL STILL TALK BAD ABOUT YOU. It doesn’t matter if you are the realest person out there and publicly talk about your flaws to the whole world; People will use those flaws against you.
This is a them issue, and not a you issue. The one’s doing the talking are the ones that could use a self reflection moment. Unfortunately, that normally isn’t what happens. What happens is: those that are talked about tend to have to fight themselves, which usually ends with a specific individual feeling less than themselves. This is where the battle of being your authentic self and who others want you to be comes into play. Everyone wants to be liked. That’s a given. But, who gives a fuck if you don’t like yourself? Out here living your life for them? Absolutely not. We are living our lives for OURSELVES.
I'll put myself on major blast right now. I am very, very open about my mental health and the struggle with postpartum depression (Check out the pregnancy blog). And I am open about the fact I am going through my second divorce to an individual who I was very close with, and as a person who has taught me many life lessons, I will never speak down on him. However, I will speak of the lessons he has taught me. He knew everything about me and was the one who helped me through the postpartum while at the same time using it to his advantage to gain control over me. A few individuals, who are not involved in my divorce, took it upon themselves to blast some messages of the times I was severely struggling with my mental health and postpartum depression. it was a time where My future ex-husband had me so manipulated that I turned into someone I did not recognize. I was an absolute monster. Now this is something that I have been very open about, and it was used against me. As they have every right if that’s the way they feel it should be handled, but that goes to show: it doesn’t matter how open you are about your life, there’s always going to be someone who uses something against you to try to tear you down. It doesn’t matter if the information that people spread about it is true or false. It’s the fact of how you handle it, and how you react to it, because you can’t change how people feel about you and the way you’re looked at, but you can change how you react to situations you have control over and how that situation will impact you. It doesn’t matter we aren't in high school anymore, people are still going to talk about you like you’re in high school. People will make up lies, people will tear you down, and people will use your most vulnerable moments, your trauma, against you just to make themselves feel better. And we can choose to either let what people think and say about us define us, or we can be true to ourselves. We can take what they say and we can let that eat us alive and wonder if that’s really who we are, or we can stay true to ourselves and know damn well who we are. And even if we did have a moment in our lives that we aren't exactly proud of, we are true to ourselves now and that moment does not define us or who we are. What defines us, is the change that we were able to make to who we are today. So FUCK THEM, stay true to yourself. When it comes to who’s opinion matters, it’s yours.
Put your middle finger up and do what you want, not what your told. One of the most common regrets in life is not having the courage to live a life that is true to yourself, but lived a life others expected from you.
Comments